Doc Love Dating Advice

                            Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
                                        Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

I’ve been studying your laws of relationships for quite some time now. I’ve read your book about six times over and have practically memorized the entire volume from cover to cover, so I know how you feel about the necessity of getting the home phone number. That’s where my question arises. How would you deal with a girl who only has a cell phone and thus only a cell phone number?

This is the case where I live in China. As a bit of background information, many people who live in southern China came from the northern part of the country and are very poor. They only rent their houses and cannot afford to connect a home phone. As a result, many of them, if they have phones at all, only own cell phones.

This is exactly what I ran into recently. I met Hui at a restaurant where I work. She came in to eat, I was very attracted to her, and as per your instructions asked for her home phone number. When she gave it to me, I called and it turned out to be her cell phone. I didn’t leave a message, because it didn’t conform to your rules.

The next time I saw her, I asked for the home phone number again, and she told me that she didn’t have one. (By the way, I verified this with my female cousin, who knows where Hui lives, so I have to assume that Hui was telling me the truth and not just trying to dodge me because of low Interest Level.)

One other question, Doc. Your book seems to be written to apply to people with a high level of understanding, like Americans. Can “The System” really be applied to women all over the world?

Thanks for all your advice.

Lawrence - who wants to know if he should dial again

Hi Lawrence,

First of all, I’m very glad you mentioned the word “memorize,” because that’s what a lot of my students don’t do. They don’t memorize my techniques, and to really get them, to really make them as powerful as they can be, they have to be internalized and practiced, and I want to complement you on your diligence. You’ve made a solid start toward becoming a master of dating strategy. As General Love says, “The guy who ventures onto the battlefield of dating unprepared is the guy who is setting himself up for disaster.”

But it looks like you didn’t quite memorize enough. Lawrence -- you’re talking to one female (your cousin) who’s giving you advice on another female (Hui)? This is a fundamental error, and you’d know that if you paid closer attention to what you read in my book. What if the two gals are tighter than you think (and chances are good they are!)? If your conversation with your cousin gets back to Hui, all it does is show her that you’re an insecure guy and can’t do your own dirty work, in addition to the fact that you can’t keep a secret. You just dropped 10 points on the Interest Level scale if your cousin has a big yap, and as my cousin “Fast Eddie” Love would say, “Show me one who doesn’t!”

Next, you tell me you “assume” Hui told you the truth. Assume? You bad boy! You were doing so well back in the first paragraph! As the great dating detective Sher-Love Holmes says, “Never assume ANYTHING when it comes to women!” But your second point is right on the mark. Hui could have been trying to dodge you. Sometimes a woman gives you the cell number when they don’t want to give you the home number. But we’ll get a little more into that in a second.

Regarding your question about whether “The System” works for women the world over, let me give you some background information. Lawrence, I lived in Los Angeles when I interviewed thousands of women to formulate my techniques. L.A. is an international city with people living and visiting from all over the world. I happened to be residing right next to UCLA, which has a high percentage of Asian students. Many of them attended my seminars, and they followed up with countless testimonials that “The System” did indeed work. And let me tell you why: because the women in China and the women in America want a confident guy. They want a guy who practices Self-Control, and they want a guy who’s a Challenge. It doesn’t make any difference if she’s from Montana or Mongolia -- “THE SYSTEM” CUTS ACROSS SOCIAL, RELIGIOUS, ECONOMIC AND GEOPGRAPHIC BOUNDARIES.

Aside from “The System” being based on the truth, what I love about it is the fact that it’s logical. Now you read in my book that it’s mandatory that you get the home phone number. Hui gave you her cell phone number. What does that mean? For argument’s sake, let’s say she told you the truth and she really doesn’t have a home phone number. In this case, she gets credit for giving you the home phone number.

But what you should have done, Lawrence, like a good love detective on “Love And Order,” was ask: “Is this your home phone number?” And when she countered with “No, it’s my cell phone number,” you should have insisted “I’d like to have your home number too.” At that point she would have said “People from the north are all poor and only have cell phone numbers,” or she would have come up with a whopper. But at least you would have resolved the issue once and for all.

The point is that you want to come as close as you can to getting that home phone number. Even in America today there are over 145 million cell phones. Lots of girls live with their parents, or they go to school, or they’re hard to get hold of and so they rely on their cell phones. But I would always rather you have both numbers. The more important one is always the home number.

Nevertheless, Lawrence, you have to use common sense and ask yourself, “How can I modify what Doc says in a given situation -- for example, where they don’t have phones on the walls of some homes here in China? How can I logically hold onto his principles in a tough spot and not deviate from them?”

So in this case the cell phone counts as the home phone number. But if she has one in her house, you have to get that one. If she doesn’t have a cell or a home phone, then you’ll take two tin cans with some string connecting them.

Remember, guys: I don’t care where this girl is from, just do what I tell you and she’ll love you forever.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

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