Doc Love Dating Advice
DO SOME WOMEN TALK OUT OF BOTH SIDES OF THEIR MOUTHS?
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I have been reading your column every week now for about two years and am looking forward to many more. As we both know, women generally have an advantage in relationships, especially in this era when men have been brainwashed by feminism into believing that any show of assertiveness on their part equals injury to the woman. Ironically, even though many feminists complain about assertive men, they often choose assertive men as their lovers. This kind of female hypocrisy is rampant in many areas.
For example, women will say that men are cheaters even though women are cheating in record numbers. If caught for cheating they will say that men do it, too. They will complain that men have double standards about promiscuity when in fact they themselves hold that double standard.
They view promiscuous men as threats to their relationships, yet are attracted to a man who can bed large numbers of women since it implies that he must be doing something pretty special to get all those partners.
I was wondering if you would write a column describing the phenomenon of attention shifting by females so that you can help the men who may be getting manipulated by it.
Toby - who is no longer fooled by female hypocrisy
As you already know, I agree with you completely. Men, in general, have been p-whipped and brainwashed by the male-bashing media into thinking that they have to apologize for being men. For instance, check out the plot line of half the books on Oprah’s Book Club list over the last few years. The main female characters are victims of various forms of abuse, and the main male characters are the perpetrators. It’s an astonishingly predominant theme that runs through a preponderance of the novels on her list. So when the most popular and powerful woman on television is pedaling this kind of propaganda, what kind of message does that send to adolescent boys who are struggling to relate to females? And what is the queen of the tube teaching young women about men?
Take a close, objective look at the commercials on television. Men are frequently portrayed as inept dunces and incompetent losers. In advertising land, men are sloppy and selfish. They’re incapable of taking care of themselves when they’re sick. They’re forgetful of anniversary and birthday dates. They’re dysfunctionally obsessed with sports. They’re untrustworthy creatures who don’t deserve common courtesy. To whom are these ads catering to? Women of course. To you psych majors, the female controls the purse strings in the home.
The ad that kills me is the one in which the guy is broken down on a desert road and a hot chick pulls up in a hot car and taunts him for a few moments and then drives away leaving him stranded. Yeah. Let him walk 30 miles in the blazing sun to get help. That’ll show him. You go, girl!
Yes, Toby, the Feministas are of course raving hypocrites. Just look at the mating choices of one of their Founding Mothers, Gloria Steinem. She made a career out of ranting and railing against the Patriarchy and once dismissed marriage as an institution that “destroys relationships.” Yet whom did she choose for her husband when she decided to become a first-time bride at the age of 66? A wealthy and powerful international entrepreneur, David Bale. (Jane Fonda made a similarly surprising choice when she married Ted Turner founder of CNN and the largest landowner in America.)
Attempting to justify the betrayal of her own principles, Steinem told her minions on her wedding day, “I’m happy, surprised and one day will write about it, but for now, I hope this proves what feminists have always said, that feminism is about the ability to choose what’s right at each time of our lives.” But she didn’t let the sisterhood down completely. The small wedding ceremony, attended by close family and friends, took place in the Adair County Oklahoma home of Steinem’s gal pal who’s name is, and I’m not making this up, Wilma Mankiller, a Cherokee Indian woman.
Sometimes you’ll see a male-bashing momma with a weak and wimpy guy that she can control, but she won’t stay with him for long – or if she does, he’s the punching bag in the relationship for the rest of his life.
The Reality Factor says that when the chickens come home to roost, even the most hard-core Amazonian Feminista (unless she’s a dyke) has a deep-seated need for a strong man who will take control. In fact the more hard- core she is the more masculine and dominating a man she’ll tend to pick for her partner. Why? Because it’s the only way she can feel feminine. Deep down, she wants someone who will set limits for her and tell her “No” once in awhile. Only an extra tough dude can make a tough woman feel girlish.
When a man cheats on his girlfriend or wife, he is labeled by womenfolk as a creep and a user. When a woman cheats on her man, she’s often seen as a victim who was compelled to do it only because she needed to free herself from a bad relationship and discover her deepest unfulfilled needs.
He’s a total jerk while she’s on a journey of self-expression and self-discovery. (Imagine a guy getting away with such an excuse!)
The double standard that reigns supreme in the arena of sexual politics is the following. Women: good. Men: guilty until proven innocent.
Yes, it’s all very real and it’s all very annoying and disconcerting. Still we can be thankful for talk radio and the Internet. Those are two places where you’ll find that men can consistently get an even break.
So … what’s a guy to do? How do you deal with all this adversity when you’re out and about in the world, just trying to do your job and find a mate?
Realize that you never need to apologize for being a man. You don’t have to buy into the ‘party line’ that a man is a user and abuser until he proves that he’s not. You don’t need to feel guilty about your sexuality. Being a man is a noble and virtuous thing. Study "The System,” and become a confident man of high integrity and walk tall.
Avoid any woman who has a chip on her shoulder and an axe to grind. There are plenty out there who don’t hate men and who appreciate and respect a man who makes no apologies for his masculinity.
Remember, guys: you only need one sweet one.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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