Doc Love Dating Advice
ARE YOU ADDICTED TO REJECTION?
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I met a girl last year at my college, a very beautiful woman, and the dream of every guy on the campus. When we first met, because of the way she was behaving with me, I thought she liked me. Everything was going well until I asked her if she would become my girl friend. She explained to me that I was a great guy, but she wasn’t looking for a boy friend.
I met her two days after that, and I asked her if she wanted to come to my uncle’s house to have some African food. She replied that she didn’t want to come because she didn’t want to give me the impression that she wanted to be more than my friend. When she was leaving I asked for a hug, but she refused. Everything seemed pretty clear: the girl did not want any romance between us.
I did everything I could to forget her, but it did not work. For some reason, I had a strong intuition that she felt something for me. I called her and told her that I was missing her. For the second time she explained to me that we were just friends and that I was not supposed to miss her. It hurt to hear her tell me that, but I accepted it.
For my own self-esteem, I upgraded my look. I bought all new clothes, a whole new wardrobe. I started dressing very nicely. I stopped focusing on her and started a new life.
Then last week while I was working at the circulation desk of the library, she came in and saw me and talked to me and asked me how I was doing. And then to my big surprise, she asked me out for dinner, the same night!
So we went out to dinner but I was so confused that I could hardly eat anything. After the dinner, I tried to kiss her but she turned her head.
Then I saw her on campus a couple days later, and she asked me if I was going to take her out again; and she asked me if I would buy her a new pair of rather expensive shoes.
My concern is this: Is this girl just interested in my wallet or what.? I’m very confused, because I don't want to spend my money for a girl who is just playing with me. The big problem is that I still love her, and she knows it. Is she trying to take advantage of that? What should I do?
Jules – who needs help
Well, son I have to say that you bring new meaning to the term “thick headed.” You’re denser than a Christmas fruitcake. How many times do you need to get shot down by this girl before you get the message? She twists the knife and then you sign up for more. I have a tip for you, Jules. Stop! Give it up. Have some self-respect. There ain’t no cheese down that hole.
You made a big hairy boo boo with this gal right out of the chute when you asked her if she wanted to be your girlfriend. Whatever chance you might have had to win her heart was lost at that point. A man should NEVER ask a woman if she wants to be his girlfriend. It’s a very weak approach, a turnoff. There’s no mystery, no Challenge in it. Besides, when you have to ask, 99% of the time, the answer is, “No”.
Your primary job in the courtship, process, Jules is simply to raise the woman’s Interest Level in you. That will automatically happen if you follow guidelines of “The System” whenever you are out with a woman (provided she has 51% Interest Level in you to begin with).
And the cool thing is that once a woman’s level of interest in you has reached critical mass, SHE will be the one to ‘close’ YOU for commitment. She’ll be saying things like: “So does this mean we’re going steady?” or, “Are you seeing anyone else?” or, “So where is this relationship going?”
When you revamped your wardrobe, Jules, your girl - friend deduced that you are a man of more than modest means. That’s when she slapped on her miner’s cap and the Gold Rush started. She won’t kiss you and then she asks you to foot the bill for fancy footwear. The audacity! She’s got more balls than a driving range. (She’s used to getting away with that kind of manipulative crap because she’s so beautiful, but now you’re going to be the one to say “No.”)
Jules, stop wallowing in self-defeating lovesickness and self-pity. She’s not available, not interested and a mercenary to boot, a self serving user who figures she can work you for a few financial favors. If she were a guy, women would call her “a real creep.”
Jules, learn how to be a Challenge, move on and use “The System” to get yourself a sweetheart who likes you a lot. Once you do, it will be easy to forget Miss Shoeless.
Remember, guys: when she’s not available, make like a bank teller and just say, “Next!”
To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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