Doc Love Dating Advice
HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR SHYNESS
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I am in my second year of college at the moment. I live in England. There is a girl at my college that I like very much. Too much, actually. My heart starts pounding and my mouth drops open whenever I see her. It may sound stupid, but I think she is "The One". She is very, very pretty, with long dark hair, sparkly eyes and a great smile.
But it’s not her looks that I’m so attracted to. There’s just something wonderful about her that I can’t explain. She has this glowing radiance.
I only see her about twice a week. I don’t know if she likes me and I don’t know if she already has a boy friend. I have seen her glancing at me every now and again and I think I saw her ask her mates about me once.
The thing is that I am quite shy. I don’t know what to say to her. But I feel I have to do something. I am quite literally going out of my head. This isn’t just puppy love or my first crush or anything. I’m serious about this girl. Can you help me?
Ricardo – who needs guidance
Can I help you? Piece of cake! Although you feel stuck and stymied right now, all you need is a prescription from the Doc and your dating dilemma will soon be history.
I think that we all can easily relate to your story, Ricardo. Most every guy has had the experience of encountering an angelic female creature and almost instantly being struck with a sense of magic, grace and a certainty that God created her for him alone. The feeling is quite intoxicating and often overwhelming; a potent mixture of awe and intense longing. As my Uncle Jethro Love would say, “A pretty filly can make a bear of a man feel as meek as a baby kitten.”
Upon encountering such a goddess, the trick is to check her Interest Level before you spend a lot of time fantasizing about her. By that, Ricardo, I mean that you must determine level of romantic Interest in YOU. We already know that without even having spoken to her, your Interest Level in her is higher than Keith Richard’s weekly Jack Daniels’ bill, but now we need to know if you’ve actually got a shot with her or not.
But before I give you a plan of action, Ricardo, I need to bust you on something. You’re trying to convince me and yourself that this gals looks have nothing to do with your stratospheric level of interest in her. Get off it and get real. You can pitch us all day and night about how you’re Mr. ‘Above All That’, but the truth is that you’re built just like the rest of us guys. Whenever we see a knockout babe, we start to salivate. It’s just a law of nature.
I guarantee you that if this ‘woman of your dreams’ were as heavy as a house and as homely as a ham sandwich, you would not be waxing poetic about what a wonderful ‘inner glow’ she has. You wouldn’t even care or notice. Now, it’s perfectly fine to be powerfully attracted to a woman you’ve never met. Just understand that without ever having met her, her looks can really only be the primary thing that’s motivating you. And when you understand what motivates you, then you’re on your way to greater confidence and self-mastery.
Keep in mind that as of yet, you have no clue about what kind of personality she has. She could be as sweet as Mother Theresa or she could be the Mother of All Bitches. In order to qualify her in the personality department, you need to meet her and spend some time with her.
I understand that you feel shy, and there’s no shame in that. Most men with super high Interest Level in a beauty whom they’ve never met, feel shy and rather flustered. Why? Because, as “The System” tells us, when a woman who could pass for Rosie Odonnell’s twin sister rejects you, it doesn’t hurt the way it hurts as when a Victoria’s Secret model rejects you.
So, first of all, cool your jets and relax. You may not even like this girl once you get to know her, and knowing that automatically takes some of the pressure off. When you see her again, simply walk up and say “Hi”, introduce yourself and ask her something about her studies. Keep it simple and sincere. If she has some interest in you, then she’ll try to make you feel comfortable and she’ll help to keep the conversational ball rolling.
But whether she tells you, "I love you," or, "I’m a dyke and I despise all men," I want you to do the most powerful thing you can do at that point. I want you to ask her for her HOME PHONE NUMBER. The 3-10 seconds that pass while you wait for her answer, will feel like a lifetime, but you must not say a word while you wait.
If she’s available and she finds you interesting, then she’ll give you the number, and then you’re in the game, guy. If you don’t get her number, at least you’ll know where you stand. What counts is that you took the shot.
Remember, guys: losers are losers because they don't know how to – or won’t - ‘close’.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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