Doc Love Dating Advice

                          Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
                                  Success Coach - Doc Love

Dear Doc,

I've been around the block and I know a lot about women. But, Doc, you’ve helped me to understand and handle things in a better way.  For example, when I'm pining for a woman who I should blow-off because she has low Interest Level in me, I listen to your CD’s and gather the strength to do what is right. Your philosophy helps me to clear my mind of the "wrong" ladies, making room for the "right" ladies when they appear. I believe the biggest mistake men make in the mating game is being unable to let go of the "wrong" ladies.

And, this brings me to my question. IS IT EVER POSSIBLE TO RAISE A WOMAN'S INTEREST LEVEL FROM LESS THAN NEUTRAL TO HIGH LEVELS? Various "Don Juan" columnists and advisors suggest that it is possible by using sophisticated hypnotic seduction techniques. You've heard it all, I'm certain.

Moreover, I recently read a social studies book about the art of seduction that also suggests that this is possible. The author states that only apathy is not seducible, but, with the proviso that you initially pick the right “target” to seduce.

What are your thoughts on this? And, if you do think it’s possible to raise a near-dead Interest Level (even if only remotely so), what techniques would you employ? I'd love to hear from you.

Georgio – who is very curious

Hey Georgio,

We all know what it’s like.

There you are, for instance, at a charity-fundraiser cocktail party. Your friend has just introduced you to a woman that he’s been telling you about, one of the most attractive women in attendance. She’s young, beautiful, sophisticated, and your friend has already informed you that she’s also single and tends to go for the same physical type as you.

As you stand there, looking into her eyes, trying to get an interesting conversation going with her, you think to yourself, “Wow, this girl is way cool! She seems like she could be real long-term relationship material. Hmmmm.” You start to get  a rush of excitement as you fantasize about the possibilities with her. You figure that you’ve got a real good chance here.

But as another couple of minutes go by, you begin to notice that she doesn’t really seem to be very interested in what you’re sharing with her. Even though you’re being your usual charming self, she’s just not warming up to you. In fact, now she’s not even looking at you while you’re talking to her. You’re ready to propose, and she’s finds you about as interesting as a Congressional hearing on farm subsidies.

The next thing you know, she says, “Nice meeting you,” as she walks off without saying another word. Ten minutes later you see her laughing with and touching the arm of some other guy that apparently she’s also just met. But for him, it seems that she’s suddenly somehow grown a personality.

Now, wouldn’t it be fantastic if there were a secret super-seduction-technique you could use in a situation like this, some hypnotic word pattern you could employ, to enchant any woman and raise her Interest Level in you? If a such a method existed, however devious, to control a woman’s mind and make her like you, wouldn’t you love to know what it was?

And, indeed, this is the very kind of thing that some dating coaches claim that they can teach you in a matter of days or weeks. Methods for creating not only instant rapor with a disinterested woman, but also techniques to make her start to have romantic feelings for you within minutes.

Can it be done? The simple answer is yes.  Using a clever combination of Ericsonian Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques, it IS possible to make a disinterested woman deeply interested in you, but the level of mastery required to successfully capture the heart of a woman who has less than 50% Interest Level in you is extraordinary. If you had no background in this field and you had to start from square one (which is the case for most guys), it would be about the same as being a non-musician and having to learn how to play the piano near the level of an orchestral virtuoso.

The promise of being able to quickly teach a guy to have the mastery required to pull off this kind of maneuver, is in itself very seductive. But when you take a scientific poll of the guys who have spent money on the tapes and manuals to learn these techniques, what you find is that only a tiny percentage of them have been able to stick with it to gain the level of skill required. As I said, the learning curve is steeper than a skyscraper.

Also be aware that all these ‘win quick’ coaches tell you that you have to pre-qualify your “target” and that their methods don’t work with some women because those women just aren’t intelligent enough. That’s their ‘out’ clause. What they’re really saying is that she has to have an Interest Level of at least 65% in order for you to get a significant positive response right away.

The good thing about these techniques is that they place tremendous importance on making your love interest feel happy, positive feelings and on getting her to associate those feelings with being with you. They encourage you to make her laugh if you can, and to get her to feel super comfortable. They also teach you the importance of emanating an aura of confidence. Of course, all of that is totally in alignment with what “The System” says.

But there’s also a downside to these seduction techniques. Even if you are able to raise a woman’s Interest Level from the dead, however sincere you are, there’s a tremendous amount of manipulation involved. If you can live with that, fine. But I’d rather have the woman choose me first. Why? Because it feels much better and it’s a whole hell of a lot less work.

As my acupuncturist, Dr. Lao, would say, “Better to let kitty cat come to you, Grasshopper, than chase her around yard with bowl of milk.”

Remember, guys: men do the picking, but women do the choosing.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644.    

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”      

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