Doc Love Dating Advice
WOULD BURT REYNOLDS CARE IF SHE LIED ABOUT HER AGE?
Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I discovered your columns a couple of months ago and have been addicted ever since. I must say that you have quite a great deal of insight into the male-female thing and I wanted to compliment you. You’re really quite funny, too – I don’t know if anyone’s ever mentioned that. It’s refreshing to see someone deal with dating and relationships in such a lighthearted manner and be so serious and profound at the same time.
Anyway, here’s what I’m writing about. I am a 50-year-old man. I’ve had a crush on Sienna since I was 12. (I know this sounds weird, but it’s true.) She recently lost her parents, who she cared for because they were elderly. Sienna is 51, was never married or had kids. I recently discovered her profile on a computer-dating network. Years ago she used to be plump and had very poorly dyed hair and bad teeth. Now she’s drop-dead gorgeous. Her hair has been done beautifully, her teeth have been fixed and she’s lost 105 pounds! In other words, she’s had a very expensive makeover. But here’s what disturbs me. Sienna is saying on her profile that she is 37 years old, and I have to admit that she does look like she could pass for that age. She doesn’t know that I know about her deception, by the way.
Sienna and I have not been in touch for a long time, Doc, but I could never get this woman off my mind. We never had a romantic relationship, by the way. I feel that this is the time to finally try and make something happen, but I keep thinking about the fact that she’s lying about her age.
Do you think that it’s ever too late to hook up with someone that you’ve always been interested in? Would the fact that she’s lying about her age disturb you? Can you give me some coaching?
Remington - who was shocked to see the new her
The reason I use humor in my work is because I have to get past the male ego. And I have found that if you can get a guy to laugh at himself -- hopefully when he’s not in a big crowd -- he will accept the truth more readily. It’s much easier to listen to somebody who can make you laugh rather than to a psychiatrist, who can be very serious and boring.
Let’s move on to your question. And before we begin, remember that you’re not a 50-year-old man. You’re a young man, Remington. You’re 50 years young.
So you’ve got a thing for Sienna, a 51-year-old lady who’s never in her life found a guy to love her. And she’s never in her life found a guy that she could love. Don’t you find this a little unusual, pal? To me, this is a huge RED FLAG. I’m the biggest opponent of divorce in the western world, but like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “I wish she had at least one under her belt.” And like my cousin Rabbi Love adds, “My son, you have to wonder about a woman who’s never been kissed.”
But now she’s drop-dead gorgeous. Well, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “It’s amazing what $25,000 and Doctor 90210 can do!” Now this is something to remember for all those women out there who look like a mess. If you really want to improve yourself physically, think of all the things you can do nowadays to help yourself. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Look at what a person has available in America today!”
So if Sienna has gorgeous hair and straight white teeth and the rest of her body is all buffed up now, she probably could pass for 37. Good for her. But a large segment of women in this country lie straight through their teeth about how much they weigh, which is a lot worse than lying about their age. But you have to realize too that everyone in America lies about their age because we’re a youth-oriented society and most people are desperately trying to hold on to their youth.
What I have to wonder, though, is whether Sienna is after some 24 to 35-year-old guys by pretending to be 37 years old. That’s the second big RED FLAG I see here. Let’s face it, dude: the only reason she’s fibbing about her age is to attract younger men – not some 60-year-old geezer.
What I would do if I were you, Remington, is keep your mouth shut about the age issue. Don’t even bring it up. Don’t make it into a big deal. But remember that the fact that she’s lying about it is indeed a red flag.
Lots of women lie about their age. And to be fair about it, lots of guys lie about themselves too. On the Internet dating sites they’re saying that they’re five feet nine when they’re really five feet seven. It’s the same thing. So I’d let that one slide for now. But I’d keep an eye peeled for any type of exaggeration she makes in the future, and I’d listen very closely to every word she says. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “When she starts telling people that she’s the past Miss South Carolina, you know she’s a loon.” So go ahead and contact her through this dating web site and get her to Starbucks.
Remington, it’s never too late to hook up with someone you’re interested in as long as you didn’t have a relationship with her on a romantic level in the past. Put her lies about her age into cold storage, at least for the time being. That said, I don’t like people who lie. On the other hand, in America if she’s five feet six and she weighs 140, she’s going to say she’s five feet seven and weighs 130. That’s just the way it is.
Remember, guys: as long as you’ve never dated her, you can always take a shot at her.
To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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