Doc Love Dating Advice

           Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
                Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

I dated Marceline for a year. We met through family, and at first things were wonderful. Marceline was all over me and kept bringing up marriage. Meanwhile, I kept my Interest Level in check. I did have some trouble getting over her past relationships, and questioned her a lot about them (I know this was bad).

After our last argument, where I overreacted, Marceline’s family and friends turned against me. But for the first month after the incident she kept seeing me and professing her love for me. But I allowed myself to “suffocate” her, hoping to prove my love (again, my bad). In the end I realized it was probably her low Interest Level that did us in, and not her family and friends. I see now that I went about the whole thing totally wrong. Instead of holding back and playing it cool, I charged full steam ahead with my display of high interest and became the Wimpus Americanus you refer to in your book.

The day we broke up, Marceline already had a guy in line to take my place. She’d been hanging out with him for consolation during our time of tribulation. She seems really happy with this guy from what I hear through others, but every now and then she sends me e-mails, to which I never respond. She sometimes calls me and says that her new relationship just hasn’t grown on her yet.

I resolved never to consider her again, but this has left me sad and hurt. Doc, is this guy just a rebound for her, or is she really much happier with him? Why does she still want to be friends with me? Shouldn’t her boyfriend mind that she’s trying to keep in touch with her ex? Sometimes I want to contact her, just to cause them problems, but I’m trying to stay above that.

Obama - who wants to restore his broken ego

Hi Obama,

Okay, let me get this straight. You were doing everything right. Marceline was bringing up marriage. She was all over you like cheese on pizza. You were keeping your mouth shut about your strong feelings. Then you did a nosedive. Suddenly you couldn’t “get over her past relationships.” Didn’t it ever occur to you that she was with you, and that they were gone? Guys, it doesn’t up Interest Level to talk about her exes. FORGET THEM.

You mention your last argument. How many arguments were you two having? By the way, to you Psych majors, did you ever notice that women with 95% Interest Level never seem to want to argue?

Of course Marceline’s family and friends turned against you, pal. Like my cousin General Love says, “Once the battle lines were drawn, they were sure as hell not going to side with you.” Kitty Kats Kompete -- until the Tom Kat does something wrong.

Marceline kept seeing you and professing her love for you because her Interest Level was somewhere between 40% and 49%. The Reality Factor says, “She’s with you, but her heart is someplace else.”

Then, when she hung on, you went and “suffocated” Marceline. You mean to tell me that you came at her again? She gave you another chance and what did you do? You came barreling back in like a Sherman tank. And like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You didn’t know that the “R” in your transmission stands for REVERSE, did you, boy?” You weren’t proving your love to Marceline by steamrolling her, bro. You just proved that you’re needy and don’t have a backbone.

But it finally dawned on you that Marceline’s low Interest Level did you in. Well, you figured something out! There’s hope left in America yet! I’ll have to pull the gun out of my mouth now.

Know what I like about you, Obama? You’re the guy who buys the book, studies it, memorizes it -- and then doesn’t do any of it. You’re the kind of fellow who can assist me in a seminar and answer questions almost as well as I can, but when it comes to actually putting my principles into practice, for some strange reason he can’t – or won’t. Isn’t that ironic? And that’s your problem.

By the way, Obama, do you have a picture of yourself? Send it to me. I’d like to use it as the illustration for Wimpus Americanus in the next printing of my book.

Marceline already had a guy in line to take your place the minute you broke up? I’m SHOCKED! A girl had a BACKUP for the man she was dumping? I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Call the Guinness Book of Records! Call Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! This has to be the first time in 6,000 years that a girl had someone waiting in the wings for when she couldn’t stand the sight of her boyfriend anymore. And believe me, man, when Marceline thought of you, she felt sick.

The new turkey is playing doctor for your ex, but she’s just using him for convalescence because she feels wounded, even though you’re the one who’s dead.

You’re talking to friends about your ex? “Others” are blockers! Like my cousin General Love says, “You could never have worked as a spy during World War II!”

This entire fiasco should leave you sad and hurt. Because you’re not a robot. But at one time this girl was practically begging you to marry her. Now she has to run for the Alka Seltzer every time she thinks of you. She went from one extreme to the other. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “What did you do to her, baby?”

Obama, learn to do what most people won’t do. Take responsibility for your actions. There is such a thing as cause and effect at work here. And the saddest part is, you know your stuff! I can tell from your letter that you understand my techniques. You sound like a very intelligent guy, in fact. But when it comes to the subject of Emotional Control, you get an “F.”

Who cares whether the new guy is a rebound for your ex? It’s her Interest Level in you that you should be worried about. But like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Think about this, paisan -- they love to slow dance together.”

Don’t fool yourself, Obama. Marceline doesn’t want to be friends with you. She wants to play with you. She wants to give you false hope. She wants to see how much you’ll grovel. So don’t play her game.

You’re the one here whose heart has been gutted and you’re worried about her new boyfriend being ticked off? Instead, you should be begging me, “Doc, tell me what to do in the future! Help me to get off my hands and knees, stand with my shoulders squared and have a little pride!”

If you try to cause these two any misery, the only inconvenience they’ll suffer is switching off the phone and turning on the answering machine while they practice more slow dancing.

Remember, guys: it’s one thing if you don’t know what to do, but if you know what to do and don’t do it, then you’re double dumb.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

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