Doc Love Dating Advice

             Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
                  Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

I need some advice.

I’ve known Marilyn for 11 years. We used to work together until she transferred to another department. She knew I liked her when I gave her chocolates for Valentine’s Day. I also would remember her birthday and give her roses. When her mother was suffering with cancer I was there for her as well. When she passed away I took flowers to her grave.

After this gesture Marilyn said she adored me. I told her it was bittersweet when she transferred. She asked why, and I told her that I always liked her, and since she transferred I’d probably just have to forget about her.

When I got through telling her this, Marilyn said she was speechless. She said that she was married, which I didn’t know, and that it would not be good for us to have any kind of relationship. She said she just wanted to be friends with me. But she did admit that she also thought about me and that she felt like a schoolgirl when she did. She said that if she weren’t married maybe it would have been different between us. I told her I understood.

But after this confrontation she began giving me mixed signals. When she visited my department, she’d knock on the door and tell me she came to visit her boyfriend -- me! Now here’s a girl who knows I like her very much but she continues to look for me. Some time later Marilyn said she was going to be working in my department for three weeks and asked if I wanted to ride the train to and from work with her. She told me how sweet I was, and that we should get together for lunch.

If Marilyn knows that I’m interested in her, why would she put me in this spot?

Doc, please help. Does Marilyn just want a friendship or does she really want a relationship?

Powell - who’s confused about her motives

Hi Powell,

Let me ask you a question. Why isn’t Marilyn giving you chocolates on Valentine’s Day? Or any other day, for that matter?

This is one of the biggest problems men have with women – they never think that they should be on the receiving end of some goodies once in a while. I’m sure that you took flowers to her mom’s grave, Powell, and it was very nice of you. But I have to ask you this: when you’re around Marilyn, are you usually dressed in a butler’s uniform?

Hey, Marilyn should adore you, because you’re very good to her. But I don’t hear a thing about what Marilyn’s doing for you. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love would say, “Dude -- what about her Interest Level?”

When you delivered your sappy ultimatum about having to forget about her after Marilyn was transferred, you were lying, pal -- you were about to go out and commit suicide over her and you know it. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Come on, boy. You know you’re a weakling.”

Then you found out the stunning news that Marilyn was hitched. In other words, you’ve been fawning over a woman for 11 years and in all that time it never came out that she was married? And you never checked? Wow. This girl should be a mole for the President Putin. She’s very good at keeping secrets. Like my cousin General Love would say, “You sure she’s not ex-KGB?”

When she said that you two couldn’t have a relationship, it showed that at least she has a little class. And if she actually used the word “schoolgirl,” she must really dig you. But you know who I really feel sorry for here? Her old man. She’s running around having crushes on men and the poor dope is clueless. But the bottom line is this: she’s off-limits. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “What do you think you’re doing, bro? This babe is MARRIED!”

When Marilyn continues to look for you whenever she’s in your department, she’s just playing with your head, my friend. Notice that she chases after you at work where she’s safe? She’s not coming on to you in a bar, and she’s not coming on to you in her living room dressed in Victoria’s Secret lingerie either. She’s completely insulated when she’s in the middle of 200 other people, so she just comes over and fools around with you like a cat toys with a mouse. Whenever she has an argument with her husband, she shows up and gets a little charge out of watching you get all wound up. Then she feels better.

The most pathetic thing is that Marilyn knows you’re either desperate enough or dumb enough – or both -- to keep letting her pull this act on you.

So, Marilyn asked you out to lunch? Gee -- not only did you forget she’s got a husband; she forgot she’s got a husband, too! I’m telling you, Powell, you’re playing with fire here. As my cousin Rabbi Love would say, “My son, this is very bad karma.”

This girl’s a loon, Powell. A loon. As in L-O-O-N. She’s way off the deep end. She has high Interest Level in you, but she has no Integrity. Is she loyal to her husband? No, she’s not. What does that say about her? Until she gets the divorce papers, she’s not available. She doesn’t seem to realize that. (And by the way, she’s showing no signs whatsoever of getting divorce papers!)

And here’s something else to think about. How do you know you’re the only guy out of 3 billion that she’s playing this little head game with? As my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “What makes you think you’re so special, dog?”

Powell, Marilyn doesn’t want a relationship or a friendship with you. She wants a yo-yo. And you are the string.

Remember, guys: until she gets the divorce papers, she’s off limits.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

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