Doc Love Dating Advice

         Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
             Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

First of all, let me say that your writings have been a great source of advice and inspiration for me.

Now on to my story. I am 32 years old and have been living in my apartment for some time. Last year, this incredibly hot girl, Farrah, moved in four floors above me. We ran into one another a couple of times on the stairs, but never really said more than the occasional “Hi, how are you doing,” etc.

Just recently, we started running into each other a little more frequently for some reason, and whenever we did, I managed to start up a conversation. One day Farrah even asked me to fix her car when I told her that I love working on my ’94 Chevy. I did, and it was a lot of fun just being around her.

Farrah is in her early twenties and works as an office clerk. I went to college, but as it stands, I’ve been unemployed for six months, and there’s little hope that I’ll find a new job anytime soon. And therein lies the problem. How do I get an attractive young woman like Farrah to go out with me? I haven’t told her my age yet (like I said, I’m 32, but all my friends tell me I look 25 or even younger) or that I’m out of work, because I figure there’s probably no chance she’ll want to waste time with some deadbeat who’s 10 years her senior. I’m very good at not giving other people too much info about myself too soon, but somehow I feel like a liar already.

I don’t think Farrah is seeing anyone right now -- at least she never talks about a boyfriend and I never see her with a guy. There’s definitely a great deal of chemistry between us, and sometimes I just think, “What the heck, ask her out already!”

What should I do?  I’d love to take Farrah out on a date, but I’m worried that she’ll be put off by my age and lack of a job.

Slick  - who’s not had much luck with girls or work

Hi Slick,

My job is inspiring, because I’m coaching you to want to go out there and win the girls as opposed to staying stuck in your rut as a loser.

When you and Farrah originally started running into each other, I just hope she was the one saying hello to you first. Because you’re not supposed to be talking to her first. (And when she was running up and down the stairs I hope you didn’t stand there gaping at her either!)

I want the girl starting the conversations. She lives in your building. You’re going to be running into her periodically. Let her come at you with the chitchat. Let her ask how you are. Let her linger when she sees you. To you Psych majors, I want her adding to her buying signals. But when the man jumps in with his big mouth and starts blabbing, he doesn’t give her the opportunity. The result is that you don’t know a thing about her Interest Level. And YOUR 85% Interest Level means nothing.

Slick, what did you get out of fixing Farrah’s car? As soon as she asked you to work on it (for free, I’m assuming, like you’re doing everything else in your life), you should have said “And what’s for dinner?” If there were the slightest hesitation on her part, you’d know she was just looking to date a mechanic (which is better than no job at all!).

I’m sure it was fun hanging around Farrah, but what about her? Did she have a fun time? Or, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “Was she just impressed by the fact that she didn’t get a repair invoice for $78.56?”

By the way, my friend, are you hitting the streets with a suit and tie looking for a job eight to 10 hours a day? Are you pounding on doors? If you’re doing all that, you’re fine, guy. But let me tell you something. Let’s say you do succeed in getting Farrah to go out with you, and you do everything right for the first time in your life. And six months go by, and then you’re out of work for a full calendar year, you’re not driving a Mercedes and you’re still stuck with that old “classic.” Sooner or later Farrah’s going to start putting two and two together and saying to herself, “Where’s this guy going?”

Slick, in your deprived circumstances you get a hot young babe to go out with you by hitting the lottery. By the way, have you ever noticed that when someone asks, “How old are you,” and you say “50,” they never say, “Gee, you don’t look a day under 65!” Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “If everybody looks younger, maybe we should lower everybody’s age.”

Being 10 years Farrah’s senior is fine, as long as you’re a corporate lawyer making $128,000 a year, drive a new Corvette and your weekend car is a spanking new SUV. I think it’s great that you don’t spill too much info about yourself, because usually when you like a girl you feel the compulsion to tell her everything about yourself in the first 10 minutes. And in your case, it means you’d have to tell her you’re at least 32 and you’ll probably never have a job again.

You don’t know who Farrah is seeing, dude. Unless you’re Donald Trump and have the money to hire someone to follow her around 24/7, you don’t know anything about her. Mister Trump can afford to check her out, but you can’t. Since you’re on unemployment compensation, you have to worry about making the monthly rent.

Farrah never talked about her boyfriend because she wanted you to fix her car first. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Don’t worry, once her vehicle passes inspection, she’ll be talking about all kinds of guys.”

You’ve not told me one single thing that Farrah does to verify that she has any kind of chemistry with you. All you’ve talked about is your high Interest Level, the fact that you live in an old apartment, you’re long in the tooth, you can’t get a job and nobody likes you.

Here’s what you do. Don’t talk about your nonexistent job or that you’re on “hellfare.” If Farrah asks how old you are, tell you’re 73, and she’ll laugh, then ask her how old she is before she can call you a liar. And if she asks if you’re working, you answer “Presently I’ve got three companies on the line and I just don’t know which one to choose.” If she’s really dumb, tell her “Honey, I’m between careers.”

Remember, guys: it’s hard to work girls when you don’t have any moolah.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

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