Doc Love Dating Advice
HOW TO HANDLE TWO GIRLFRIENDS
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
My girlfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for the last year and a half. For the most part we've been pretty happy. She's the type of girl that I've always dreamed about: successful, intelligent and fun.
The only thing that has ever made me question our relationship is her nasty attitude. She has the ability to transition from my sweet little girl to super bitch in zero seconds flat. Her attitude problem often strains her relationship with friends and family. I never know when she’s going to have a fit and start laying into me.
A few months ago I went out to a club and met a beautiful girl named Kristine. I ended up bringing her home that night. We had a great time and hung out a few more times over the next couple of weeks. I was honest with her and told her about my girlfriend. She told me that she had just ended a relationship and was very content being twenty-two and single again.
Recently my girlfriend moved in with me. This past weekend we went out to a club together and we bumped into Kristine. I introduced her quickly to my girlfriend as a former co-worker.
Later in the night my girlfriend left the club because she had a headache, giving me the chance to chat with Kristine. By this time Kristine was apparently intoxicated. She told me that she missed me, and wanted me to move in with her.
I told her that she had really caught me off guard, and that I needed some time to react as to what she was saying.
The next night my girlfriend and I went to another club. Amazingly, I bumped into Kristine again. We spoke for a few minutes while my girlfriend was dancing in another room. Now that Kristine was sober, I asked her about the prior night's conversation. She told me that she had meant every word and really wanted me to move in with her.
I'm really confused because at a minimum, I'm infatuated with Kristine. She's among the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. We have a great time whenever we hang out, and I think about her quite a bit, although up until this point our relationship has only been physical in nature.
So my question is, what should I do? Should I remain faithful to my girlfriend and tell Kristine that I can't be involved with her? Should I try to get to know Kristine better to figure out if we are indeed compatible? Should I break up with my girlfriend? What do you think?
Jacob – who needs to make the right decision
First of all, Jacob, I want you to ask yourself, “Why am I staying in a relationship with a girl who has a nasty attitude?” Come on, Jacob, get real. You’re telling me that in your world, it’s perfectly fine to let a girl move in with you who can turn into “super bitch” at the drop of a hat. As my Uncle Jethro Love would say, “What’s a matter with your brain, boy? Did your Momma drop you on your noggin when you were a youngin?”
In many instances you don’t find out that a woman has a bad attitude until you live with her for awhile. But you already knew that your gal was trouble and you let her move in anyway! You should never keep a woman who has a nasty attitude and certainly do not co-habitate with her unless you’re a masochist who enjoys walking on eggs and being uncomfortable all the time.
Now let’s look at some other important issues. You should never have told Kristine about your girlfriend. There’s no constructive purpose in doing something like that. “The System” says that when you’re with one woman, you don’t talk to her about another woman whether that other woman is your ex- girlfriend OR your current one. It’s too much information and it’s not a classy thing to do, plus, it doesn’t help your cause.
Also, if you spend the night with a woman and then tell her that you currently have a girlfriend, how does that help to build your image as a trustworthy fellow? (If you’re not trustworthy, why broadcast the fact that you’re not?)
Now I have to bust you on another thing, Jacob. You lied to your girlfriend when you told her that Christine was a “former coworker.” Whenever you lie to your partner, you set yourself up for a slippery slide into some deep doo-doo.
Instead you should have introduced her to your girlfriend by simply saying, “This is Kristine”. If your girlfriend had inquired further about Kristine you could have told her that you had previously met and talked with Kristine at a club. Fibbing by omission is passable but directly lying is only going to come back to bite you later. Just ask Bill Clinton.
Ok. Now that we’ve gained some clarity, let’s get to the Nitty-Gritty. The Bottom Line Factor says that you are not committed to your girlfriend. You cheated on her and didn’t think twice about it.
She’s got a problem personality, and your romantic Interest Level in her is mediocre. This unfortunate combination is a lousy foundation to try to build a relationship on.
You wouldn’t have been with Kristine and you wouldn’t now be thinking about her all the time if you hadn’t already emotionally divorced yourself from your girlfriend. So wake up! Anyway you look at it; it’s time you gave Miss Minefield, her eviction notice.
Once you’ve made a clean break, you can begin to explore the possibilities with Kristine. But take it slow. Don’t have any further discussions about shackin’ up with her until you get considerably more time in together. Keep your conversations light and non-serious. And find out if there’s more to your relationship with Kristine than just physical attraction.
Overall, Jacob, you need to get more focused and disciplined in your approach to women. You’re too flippy and flighty. You’re impatient and you’re sloppy. And, you’re very foggy about what’s good for you and what’s not. Please, please, start studying “The System!”
Remember, guys: If you want to be successful in love, you have to know what’s good for you and what’s not.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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