Doc Love Dating Advice

                             Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
                                   Success Coach - Doc Love

Hi Doc,

I’m a dedicated follower of “The System” but I’ve seemed to encounter a situation I just can’t read yet.

Bridget and I are both 22. I asked for her phone number and without hesitation she jotted both her home and cell phone numbers. I waited a week to call her and asked her out for a Wednesday.

Bridget admitted that her parents were a bit strict and that she’d have to run it by them first. She called me the following day and told me that her parents wouldn’t allow her to go out with me because they didn’t know me just yet. She counter-offered to hang out at her house instead. It was a bit uncomfortable to meet her parents on a first date, but I figured it was some sort of test to see if I was truly interested in her or not.

Things went well that night. Her parents and I got along amazingly great. They offered me dinner, and I accepted and was a gentleman throughout the night. I figured that after I “proved” myself, I would be able to take Bridget out on a second date.

I called five days later and asked Bridget out again, this time for a Thursday night. She accepted, but she said that she’d have to run my offer by her parents again. She called me the following day and said her parents still didn’t know me well enough and that they would prefer we hang out at their house again or with her friends. She then invited me to a concert on Sunday, where her friends would be.

Doc, I haven’t been able to get this girl out on a date alone yet, and so I can’t “interview” her. I’m pretty sure she has over 51% Interest Level in me, but it’s difficult to gauge her actions and ask questions when her mom and dad are hovering around or when her friends are present.
Should I stick with Bridget and hope she eventually gets “permission” to really go out? Or do you think she just wants to be friends?

Your wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Henri - who’s never had to face anything like this before

Hi Henri,

When a girl jots down every number short of her Social Security for you, everything is just about perfect. So I’d say you were off to a darned good start with Bridget. I only wish you two were a little older. As it is, Bridget is on the outer age range of the “ditz” category, but maybe she’s a mature 22-year-old. We’ll find out.

Now, this babe is running stuff by her folks for one of two reasons. Because she has to, or because she doesn’t have to. And also because she has high Interest Level or because she doesn’t have high Interest Level. What we’re hoping for is that she comes from an ultra-conservative family, because it means she hasn’t dated most of the football or hockey team. So, if you’re patient, this restriction can be a big positive in disguise.

Bridget returned your call the very next day? Dude -- how many women actually do that? One in eight? Awesome! Like my Brother Love down in Watts says, “We got Interest Level here, baby! Hallelujah!” When she told you her parents didn’t know you yet, you should have asked, like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love would, “Hey -- can I buy ’em off?”

But when she came up with the counteroffer to hang out at her house, she was helping you out. What have I told you guys again and again? When a girl likes you, she helps you out. So she does appear to have high Interest Level. And it does seem legitimate that her parents are ultra-conservative. This is great -- maybe you’ve got what we call a sleeper here.

It’s uncomfortable anytime you meet strangers, but don’t let having to deal with Bridget’s folks rattle you. When you memorize my book, nothing will ever bother you again when it comes to women. You’ll be super-confident because you’ll know how to handle any situation you’re ever confronted with. So what you do is shine your shoes and brush your teeth and flash Bridget’s folks a great, big smile. Because like my cousin the Reverend Love says, “You gotta get the parents out of the way if you’re going to get to Angel!”

Sure you’re facing a test, pal, but it’s not Bridget’s -- it’s her parents’! So you’ve only got part of it right. And guy, look at it this way -- they didn’t throw you out, so you’ve passed the test so far. What’s more, they asked you to break bread with them. That’s a big deal to an ultra-conservative family.

But don’t forget, hanging around her house wasn’t a date. A date is when you and Bridget are alone and nobody’s around trying to block your relationship. So you’ve gotten way ahead of yourself, like most guys do. As my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Until all the eggs are broken, you can’t tell how many chickies you got!”

The second time around you should have known you were going to have to pass the “Parents Test” again. But as long as Bridget returns your phone call, that’s all that counts.

So now you’re stuck with her friends. Ideally, the rule is that we don’t want any of those around. But we still haven’t removed the parents yet as blockers. But at least when you go out with Bridget’s friends you’re out of their sight. You’re out in a public place with people who aren’t her immediate family. Maybe after two or three of these “friends” dates, you’ll get an “alone” date. Look at it this way – you’re on the right track and you’re getting there.  

Buddy, when you say you haven’t taken Bridget out alone yet, you act like you’ve been chasing her for a year and a half. You’re just getting warmed up here, man! You’ll interview her down the road. The point is, she’s giving you time. She’s asking you out. She’s making counter-offers. Hello, Mister Interest Level!

So you’ll take care of getting to know Bridget in depth when her mom and dad finally say “Okay, you can go out alone with Henri now.” It doesn’t matter how long this process takes. And like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “You’re going to be seeing girls on the side anyway, right, amigo?”

Of course you should stick with Bridget. And no, she doesn’t want to be just friends. This girl has Interest Level. But your problem is this: like most guys out there, you want to rush and pressure. To you Psych majors, you’ve got to learn to SLOW IT DOWN.

Remember, guys: until the blockers are blocked, there’s no moving forward.

To hear my call-in radio show, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

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