Doc Love Dating Advice
HOW TO AVOID BEING L.J.B.F.`d
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
My girlfriend and I have been together about three months now. When we first met, on a blind date, we really “clicked.” In fact, I would say that the chemistry between us was unusually amazing. We got totally intimate almost immediately, and for the first month or so, things with us were really hot and heavy.
Lately things have tapered off quite a bit as compared to that that first month. She’s been dealing with intense pressure at work. Also, she had to start helping take care of her mother who has been recovering from a serious operation. Consequently, we’ve only been getting together about twice a week instead of every night like it was.
The problem for me is that we’ve pretty much stopped making love for the time being. She says that it’s because she’s had to deal with so much stress lately and that what she needs from me more than anything right now is for me to just be a good friend.
I really like this girl a whole lot. We have so many things in common it’s almost ridiculous. Both us are science fiction nuts and we both are seriously into photography. We also went to the same college during the same time (although we didn’t know each other then.)
I’ve been with women who I’ve had a lot of chemistry with, but not had much in common. And then I’ve dated girls who I’ve had a lot in common with, but not much attraction to. This is the first time I’ve it all going on with one woman to such a degree.
I’m hoping that all the stress in her life will let up and that things will soon be back to normal. I’m trying to be as patient and understanding as I can. I’m just wondering if there’s anything else that I can do to get through all this quickly.
Any advice you can give would be much appreciated.
Paul - who’s just not sure what to do
As anyone who reads my articles knows, I never pull any punches. Like a referee at a heavyweight boxing match, I’m duty bound to call ‘em as I see ‘em, and, buddy, your relationship with this gal is down for the count. Although you have great hopes and expectations that things will be heating back up with you’re girlfriend, I’m sorry to say, they won’t.
Paul, I’m here to shake you up and out of your denial and ignorance. You need to realize, dude, that you’ve been L.J.B.F’d, (Let’s Just Be Friends). Yes, your girlfriend used the dreaded “F” word and that means that the diagnosis for this romance is: TERMINAL.
When a woman is in love, she does not terminate intimate relations with her partner and tell him that she needs him to just be her friend! That’s the kind of thing that a woman tells a man when her Interest Level has sunk below the point of no return and she’s trying to let him down easy. To you Psych majors, when she digs him, she doesn’t cut off the nookie. Get it?
Your girlfriend’s justifications for putting the brakes on would not hold up in court. If her romantic Interest Level in you were still high, she’d be finding comfort and refuge from her “stress” by staying intimate with you. The issue is not that she’s stressed. The issue is that her Interest Level is lower than the New Jersey Nets’ team spirit.
Having instant chemistry with a woman is a rare and beautiful thing to experience. But just because the sparks are flying between you and a woman in the early stages of dating, that in itself is no guarantee that the two of you are going to wind up having a solid relationship.
Even adding in great compatibility and intellectual rapport to the equation is not enough to guarantee a successful relationship. You have to know how to emotionally entice her.
When managed PROPERLY, a female’s initial animal attraction towards you can be cultivated into sustained, deep abiding romantic interest. (As long as she’s clinically sane.) How is that done? By using “The System” and being a Challenge.
Paul, you have to learn what it means to be a Challenge. Right now it appears that you have no concept of what that is. If you had been a Challenge during the last two months you’d still be groovin’ with your babe despite the situations that she’s dealing with.
So, please, start studying “The System” to make sure that you never get L.J.B.F.’d again.
Remember, guys, she’ll never walk away from a Challenge.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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