Doc Love Dating Advice

                     Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
                            Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

I am a loyal follower of “The System” and your techniques. I think you’ve really got it together when it comes to women and relationships. Now this is just a request and you might not want to deal with it, but I thought it might help some other men out there.

I’d like you to address the recent story about the woman in Georgia who bolted a few days before her oversized, showy wedding, fabricated a kidnapping story, then when the cops found her sniveling in a phone booth in New Mexico, recanted the whole thing and admitted she just had “cold feet” and had in reality ran away from getting hitched. It looks like she even had it planned long before the big event.

First off, why do you think this story has captured the public’s imagination the way it has? After all, it’s really only a local-yokel story about some chick jilting a guy, and the people involved aren’t that interesting to begin with. What do you make of it?

The next thing that I find fascinating is that this woman’s dumped boyfriend still wants to marry her. In fact, when they were reunited at her parents’ house after she was brought home by the authorities, he put the diamond back on her finger like nothing at all had happened! No word so far on whether she accepted it.

Is this guy the dictionary’s definition of Wimpus Americanus or what? I hear people on television talk about him being “understanding.” Do you think maybe that’s true and I’m being too harsh in my judgment of him? In an interview the guy said something along these lines: “I forgive her. We all make mistakes, don’t we?”

One last thing. I read somewhere once that psychiatrists say that if you can see the whites around the irises of a person’s eyes, then the person is totally crazy. That’s definitely the case with the runaway bride if you’ve seen her pictures. Do you think maybe she’s just insane and that’s why she did what she did? Maybe it’s worth considering, don’t you think?

Thanks for weighing in, Doc. I’m dying to hear your opinions on this one.

Antoine - who wonders how he’d handle it if it happened to him

Hi Antoine,

Thanks for your kind words. Now I’m not going to say I’m right 100% of the time. But I will tell you this: I’m hitting the bull’s-eye at a rate of about 98.7% when it comes to the dating game. Why? Because none of the other dating coaches out there ever talk about the man’s most important ally on the battlefield of love -- CHALLENGE.  

Now, let’s move on to your questions. Not only did the runaway bride fabricate a ridiculous fairytale, she also accused a fictitious Hispanic male of abducting her. Her false accusation cast a long shadow over all the decent, honest, hardworking Hispanics who are legal citizens of this country. And it means she’s a bigot. Do bigots ever make good mothers? It’s something to think about.

Antoine, there was absolutely no doubt whatsoever that this lulu had a scheme planned out way in advance. She purchased the bus ticket she used to blow town a full week before the day she actually split! She left her keys and wallet at home because she intended for it to look like a kidnapping. THIS WAS A PREMEDITATED CRIME. IT WAS COMPLETELY CALCULATED. She just didn’t suddenly lose her marbles because the pressure of the impending nuptials was getting to her. She laid it all out cunningly --- like a lion stalking a wildebeest in the Serengeti for days on end. Or like Ivana or Marla or Melania setting a trap to snare the Donald.

The question of why this story has captured the public’s imagination is a good one. I can understand the fascination with Michael Jackson or Phil Spector – these are celebrities, big, recognizable names. But for some reason, certain stories pique America’s fancy, and this story is one.

This runaway bride just didn’t blubber, “I don’t want to marry you,” like Julia Roberts told Kiefer Sutherland. Julia pulled out on Kiefer three days before the wedding, but she didn’t lay out any twisted, diabolical plans beforehand. Not that what Julia Roberts did was right, but our current runaway did a great deal of pre-planning to get out of the big day. In other words, the story is like a Hollywood potboiler or a soap opera -- and we know how America is a sucker for a Hollywood potboiler or a soap opera. Why do you think we still can’t get enough of O.J. and Scott Peterson?

To you Psych majors, how can the runaway bride be kind and loving when she pulls something like this? Is this the behavior of a kind and loving woman? Are these nasty character traits what a guy is supposed to overlook when he ties the knot? Sheesh! I’ve known sweeter cobras!  

There’s something else involved here, too. These days we have nothing else to talk about. The media has gotten tired of covering terrorism, so they have to look for something else. What also makes the runaway bride story riveting is the fact that the cops were on the boyfriend like white on rice as a potential suspect at first. If the runaway had slipped out to Malibu and fell off a cliff, her fiancé would be sitting in the slammer right now wishing Johnnie Cochran were still around. And this is the guy who’s begging her to take back the ring!

Which brings us to this pitiful dolt. I could take this guy, stick him in a jail cell and tell him, “Unless you memorize the Dating Dictionary I’m going to kill your parents!” And he might memorize the book under pain of that threat, know it inside and out, and answer all my test questions correctly, but at the end of the day he would still take her back. Some guys just aren’t fixable. This idiot is such a slave to his own Interest Level that he can’t see the forest for the trees. On top of it all, rejection doubles Interest Level. His is hovering around 190% right now.

So he’s going to beg some more. He’s going to grovel, and he’s going to get down on his hands and knees. I can just hear him whimpering like a whipped puppy: “Oh, my darling, please, don’t leave me! I can’t live without you!”

So he’s even a lower form of male than Wimpus Americanus, Antoine. He’s what’s called a STOOGE. He’s just not getting it at all. If they ever named a river after him, it would be DE-NIAL, just like the one in Egypt. This poor sap’s ego is in such a state of shock that to protect himself he has to put a happy face on the very ugly thing that went down.

But with the passage of time, if he has any brains at all (and that’s doubtful) his resentment is going to build. I mean, can you imagine being married to this model of stability? One day he’s going to come home from his long day at the office (where he slaves to keep his ice princess happy) and there’s going to be a note for him sitting on the kitchen table: “Honey, I’m leaving you, and I took the two kids. Sorry it didn’t work out after all.” And then of course everyone’s going to say, “Well, it wasn’t the first time. She did it before. She told you she was nuts up front! Didn’t you see this coming?” And, of course, he didn’t. Or he chose to remain as blind as Stevie Wonder.

So guys, this wasn’t just some “mistake.” What does the runaway bride have to do before everybody catches on -- burn the church to the ground? Does she have to flatten her fiancé’s house with a tractor before he gets it? How many people does she have to run over in a crosswalk with her truck before we wake up and say maybe this isn’t such a good person?

Finally there’s her pastor, who’s telling us how ecstatic everyone is that she’s back home and how the Lord is a presence in the room and once the runaway gets some professional treatment she’ll be well in a matter of days and everything will be perfect. But like my cousin Brother Love says, “Jesus and the Devil don’t work together.” This preacher ought to go back and read his Bible some more.

As far as our flighty lady’s wild eyes go, well, I’m not that kind of doctor. And I don’t buy into generalizations that condemn all females.  All I know is this – she’s a whack-job. Like I always tell you guys, you have to start with a clinically sane person.

Remember, guys: never try to keep somebody who doesn’t want to keep you.

To send me your love questions, listen to my call-in talk show, or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

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