Doc Love Dating Advice

                                            HOW TO SPOT A GOLDDIGGER
                                                Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
                                                     Success Coach - Doc Love

Dear Doc,

Your “System” has been guiding me, but I’ve never had this happen before.  
Here’s a little background. I’m 33 and what I’d call handsome in an offbeat kind of a way. I’m a successful screenwriter and I live in the Hollywood Hills in a big beautiful home with an edge pool that I designed myself.

This girl I went out with is quite attractive, 5 ft. 7 in. blonde hair, blue eyes, flawless skin, slender maybe 110 pounds yet nicely curved, very intelligent and resembles Kim Bassinger, or maybe her younger sister if she has one. She is in her mid 30’s and has never been married. She lives near me in the same neighborhood.

I did everything according to your “System.” I was the quintessential well-mannered, well-dressed and polite gentleman.

I met her at a party and waited over a week to call her. The first date was a weeknight walk in the park and a meal at an inexpensive restaurant with great atmosphere near the ocean. I have a new Lexus but picked her up in my older but clean Ford F-150 pickup truck instead.

Seven days later I arranged for supper at a Mexican restaurant and then a movie at the ‘dollar’ cinema. I paid for everything.

I tore up her phone number when she refused to kiss me after that second date. Buddies of mine who had seen her said I was completely nuts for getting rid of her.

I got ragged on so badly that I relented and looked her up in the phone book to call again except I waited a full month to call her. I figured that if I was a super Challenge that she might possibly ‘crack.’  

I suggested that we meet at the free jazz concerts at the city amphitheater for a brown bag supper and great music. She refused, saying she didn’t like ‘Jazz’. That was two weeks ago.

Tonight I unexpectedly ran into her at the local newsstand. We were both alone, so I stopped to talk to her and, boy, did she give me an earful!

She barely let me get a word in edgewise after the subject came around to our dates. She called me “CHEAP” and said that I “dislike women,” that I “don’t know how to treat women,” that she never dated a guy like me, that she expects a guy she dates to spend money on the date and not see how CHEAP he can be.

She said that she was used to having guys treat her with respect not like the CHEAP way I treated her. She actually said that if I was a REAL man that I would have brought her flowers and gifts. She said that I was a great looking guy but that I’d never meet a good woman using my unconventional dating methods.

She demanded I write something down and even searched her purse for a paper and pencil to give me, then she dictated: “Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray. “This is a book that I want you to buy and read.” Since she called me cheap so many times I thought I’d get a shot back at her so I asked if I could just borrow her copy. She said, “NO, it’s only $7.50.” So I asked if I could borrow $7.50 from her and she just glared at me.

But then she started at me again. “On our first date you spent less than $7 on me. And the date after that at the Mexican restaurant and the movie? You spent less than $20 on me that night. I called all my girlfriends and at work the next day I told all my co-workers how you insulted me. None of them had heard of such a thing!”

She went on and on with a passion I’ve never seen She is attractive enough to only date hunky ‘alpha’ males, even though I’ve never thought of myself as one.  

I found it odd that she was so upset yet took the time to bend my ear for over a half an hour.

I seem to have really gotten under her skin .

I thought you’d find all this pretty interesting Doc. Any comments?

Mark - who is laughing to himself

Hey Mark,

Allow me to commend you on an excellent job of handling this philly.

First of all, you actually waited an entire week to call her. This of course is the proper procedure according to “The System”. Unfortunately, 97% of guys never wait more than 48hrs at the most to call a girl after they’ve first gotten her phone number. And plenty of them call the same damn day!

As my cousin “Fast Eddie” Love would say, “The majority is usually wrong.” (Remember only one third of the American Colonists wanted to break with England.)

Way too many guys are like salivating greyhounds at a racetrack, chompin’ at the bit to get at that bunny. The average guy has no comprehension of the importance of building a sense of mystery and Challenge with a woman, especially in the beginning.

And kudos to you too, Mark, for not coming on like Mr. Big Spender to try to impress this chick. The pick-up truck instead of the Lexus was a great idea. By following “The System” and down playing your affluence you were able to bust this babe. She’s obviously a full-blown mercenary. A 24 Karat Gold Digger.

The first few dates are a time when two people are checking each other out to see what kind of potential is there. It’s way too soon to be bringing flowers and gifts as your former date mate was expecting, or shall I say demanding.  And it’s also way too soon to be going out for expensive dinners.

Keep in mind that a woman with high Interest Level in you AND a flexible, giving attitude could have a fun time getting to know you while sitting at a bus stop eating peanut butter sandwiches.

But this gal is one spoiled little missy. Since she’s such a hottie, of course, legions of guys are tripping over themselves to get a chance to suck up to her. So she’s not used to NOT being put on a pedestal. You certainly got to her and good riddance I say! Can you imagine what it would be like to be married to this broad? She could out nag Joan Rivers.

The only mistake that you made was that you gave into pressure from your peers and called her again after she had disqualified herself from the contest to win your heart. Her horrible attitude aside, she failed “The Smooch Test” and once a woman fails the “The Smooch Test” that’s it. Over and out. No calling her back, period.

But hey, Mark, overall you did fantastic. And I’m delighted to hear that you got in a couple zingers before you gave her the big Adios.

Remember guys, don’t listen to your friends, listen to me.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644.    

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”    

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