Doc Love Dating Advice
WOULD ORLANDO BLOOM EVER WASTE TIME WITH EMPTY CHITCHAT?
Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I met Caprice, this total knockout, at the mall last week, worked up the courage to talk to her for a bit, and asked for her home phone number. She took out a pen, wrote it on my hand, and enthusiastically told me to call her. At that point, her Interest Level seemed very high.
Perhaps it was a mistake to call on Sunday, but I’m going to be out of town on Monday and Tuesday, and felt it would be okay to do that. In the first few minutes of the conversation we agreed on a Starbucks coffee date for Wednesday. She wanted to talk longer, but I indicated that I had some things to take care of before leaving town. She asked if I’d call her before Wednesday to talk, and when I reminded her I’d be out of town, she said I should just use my cell phone and call her anyway. I joked around, told her I knew she was dying to talk with me, but that she’d just have to wait until our date. When she said “Fine, then, just call me whenever you find the time in your busy schedule,” she sounded a bit upset and quickly hung up.
Doc, in the past, I would have probably called Caprice right back and apologized, and then talked with her for a long time to make up for my little transgression. But since I’ve studied your techniques, I decided not to roll over like a puppy dog and instead stand my ground and be a Challenge.
But at this point I’m not sure what to make of Caprice’s getting upset when I told her I couldn’t talk. It seemed pretty clear at first that she had high Interest Level, but now I don’t know if she’s just highly interested, or whether she’s Inflexible and rigid and I should stay away because that can only mean further problems down the road.
What’s your take, Doc? I always trust your insights and I hope you can help me to see the light.
Baron - who suddenly isn’t so sure he wants to go through with it
Before we get into the messy part of your situation, I want to bestow upon you the Congressional Medal of Honor for Dating. My man, you are brave. You wouldn’t believe how many guys wouldn’t have done what you did. Confronted with the most dangerous creature in the world – the Beautiful Woman -- you said to yourself: “She’s not wielding a machete. She’s not carrying an Uzi. And I don’t see a grenade, either. I’m going to approach her. What’s the big deal, right? What’s the worst that could happen?”
And YOU DID IT. You got cojones, pal. Most guys in that situation would have been lily-livered cowards. Congratulations to you, Baron. And to you Psych majors, you have the ability to do the same thing; all you need is the guts to follow through.
Calling a girl on Sunday night is fine. Do it on the late side – most people are at home then and it’s a good time to catch them. Now, what I’m going to say here is really important: you did the right thing by not giving in to Caprice’s whim to chitchat about nothing. Here’s an old salesman’s adage: once you get the order signed and the check in your pocket, get the hell out of the house! And like Sal “The Fish” Love says, “You can only blow it by hanging around.”
When Caprice wanted you to stay on the line and shoot the breeze, you should have said, “Hey, you’re not an insecure girl, are you?” When she asked you to call her on your cell phone, you should have fired back (playfully, of course), “Baby -- how can you be insecure with that body and that face? It doesn’t make a lick of sense!”
But another possible scenario here is that Caprice is a control freak. Or worse, she really has low Interest Level in you. Some babes will give you the number, but when it’s time for action, you’re never going to see her in public – or anywhere else, for that matter. So make sure you look at all the possibilities. Remember, you always have to be a love detective.
You were smart to joke away Caprice’s demand to talk longer. But apparently she didn’t get the message. When she dropped that caustic remark about your overloaded schedule, you should have come back with “Fine, honey. I know that down deep you’re into Challenge, and that’s why I can’t call you. But I’ll see you at Starbucks at six. Just hold on for three more days. You can do it.” And then hung up. And left it that way.
You don’t have to talk anymore. And you don’t have to accept Caprice’s calls if she phones you. If you show up at Starbucks Wednesday at six and she’s not there, fine. Look on the positive side -- you found out the truth about her sooner instead of later and you wasted very little time or money in the process.
Want to know why Caprice got a little cranky and hung up on you? Because Miss Control Freak didn’t get her way. You’ve got to remember something: she’s so good-looking that priests and homosexuals are asking her out. She’s getting her way damned near all the time. And believe me, I’ve seen six-foot-five linebackers who look like huskies instead of puppy dogs in the grip of the Caprices of the world, and they roll right over without a fight. They fall apart. Here this little girl they’re chasing weighs all of 115 pounds and they’re going to pieces. Sickening, right? But that’s not going to happen to you, Baron.
If you were to fall in love with this girl, I would agree that you should be afraid of her rigidity and demands. But you’re going to go out and practice on her. And that’s all you’re going to do. You’re going to go out and have fun with Caprice. Then you’re going to run back home and read the Dating Dictionary. Afterwards you’re going to go out with Caprice again. When you stop learning from her, it’s adios!
Above all, don’t allow YOUR Interest Level to go up. If it starts to rise, you’ve got to drop this girl faster than MacDonald’s dropped Kobe Bryant. If you don’t, you’re going to have one nasty problem on your hands. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love would say, “Be careful. Remember, you’ve only seen Caprice with her clothes on.”
You’re dealing with a deadly serpent here, my friend. So you’ve got to be like one of those charmers in India who plays the flute to lure the snake out of its basket and make it spread its hood and dance without getting bitten. Because once you get bitten, you’re dead. And it won’t take long.
Remember, guys: never turn your back on a cobra.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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