Doc Love Dating Advice

      THE THREE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS THAT MEN HAVE ABOUT WOMEN
                                         Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
                                                Success Coach - Doc Love

Dear Doc Love,

I’ve been reading your articles for almost a year now. I used to read them because I thought you were totally full of crap, and I enjoyed laughing at what a pompous jerk you were. Well, I have to admit that over time, I’ve come to realize that you actually have figured out some important things about relationships that I almost never hear anyone else talk about.

I guess I started to “get it” right after my girlfriend dumped me. I was trying to figure out what the hell happened, and that same week you wrote an article that described my situation exactly. I had been doing things that were lowering her Interest Level without my knowing it.

I’m seeing more and more now how so much of what I thought women wanted is totally wrong. Like you say, we get confused by listening to all those female love doctors who don’t understand how even they themselves actually want a guy who is a Challenge, rather than a guy who kisses their butts all the time.
    
I’m convinced that that the war of the sexes is real and that thousands of men are getting slaughtered every day. The only relationship expert that I’ve ever heard talk about this is you, Doc. You’re right. There’s so much bad advice out there. We lose our way. We get disoriented. We wind up either barking up the wrong tree, or just flying by the seat of our pants without a compass. So I want to acknowledge you for being a real beacon of objectivity and a reliable source for accurate information when it comes to dating and relating to women properly.  

I have to say that I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the rethinking and reorienting I’m having to do, now that I’ve become a believer in your “System.” I keep discovering more misconceptions that I was laboring under, So, Doc, what you would say are the most important ones to be aware of and to get free of. I need to make things simple right now.

Theo - who understands the power of simplicity

Hey Theo.

Thanks for the great compliment. I’m glad to hear that you’re getting un-brainwashed.

Ok. I’ll make it REAL simple for you. Easy as 1, 2. 3. Here are three of the biggest misconceptions that men have about approaching women:

1) “I can raise any woman’s Interest Level in me by complimenting her.”

Yes, this thinking has a certain (false) logic to it. Complimenting women sure seems to work in the movies and on TV. A handsome lawyer tells Ally McBeal how smart and beautiful she is, and she swoons and wants to make babies with him. And all the girls in the X rated videos sure seem to respond well to compliments. Extra well. The only problem is that these are not real life situations. In real-life, with real women, laying on the compliments only hurts your cause. It’s anti-Challenge.

2) “I can raise any woman’s Interest Level in me by boasting about myself.”

Same thing with boasting. It’s certainly true that women respond quite favorably to wealthy, powerful, successful men. So it seems logical that it would be helpful to tell a woman things about yourself that would make her think of you as someone who’s a major league player.

But no matter how you play it, boasting only makes a woman feel as if you’re trying to impress her. And the operative word here is trying. Trying is the opposite of Challenge.  A REAL heavyweight kind of a guy doesn’t have to try. He emanates confidence. It’s far better to let her WORK a little to discover what an amazing guy you are. To you Psych majors, keep it to yourself.

3) “If I persistently demonstrate to the woman whom I’m courting, how high my Interest Level in her is, it will raise HER Interest Level in me.”

This one’s the real killer.  Once again, media brainwashing is a major factor in perpetuating this myth. How many love stories have you seen or read where the plot line goes like this: Handsome guy likes beautiful girl, but girl isn’t interested in guy. Guy is determined to do whatever it takes to win girl over. After guy begs, jumps through a dozen hoops and sacrifices himself for her, girl finally realizes: “Oh, gosh, I love him!” As my cousin “Fast Eddie” Love would say, “Puke!”

Who do you think these plot lines are written for? It ain’t for anyone who can grow a beard. Women love to fantasize about guys who will do anything to win their hearts, even risk death. They like the idea of a guy who is so enchanted by their charms that he can’t control himself and won’t give up. But in real life, women want to do the pursuing. In real life, if you come on heavy, you lose. In real life, if you keep pursuing a woman after she said “No” five times, you get sued for sexual harassment or … arrested for stalking.

That should be simple enough for you Theo.  Good luck and keep studying!

Remember, guys, it’s always better to be a Challenge.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.  

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”  

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