Doc Love Dating Advice

DID JANE FONDA (AKA HANOI JANE) LISTEN TO THE ANGELS WHEN SHE DUMPED TED TURNER?
                            
                             Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
                                  Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

Last week, my girlfriend of one year decided to break up with me. After a romantic date, Sarah woke up the next morning and said, “In a moment of clarity, the angels have told me that it is best we work out our own paths separately.” Well, I was floored and asked for an explanation. She said that our spirituality is not the same and this would be a permanent barrier to intimacy. I’m still in shock. We rarely argued and got along well as a team, so well that we had one of those really electric relationships where people often thought we were on our honeymoon when we were out together.

Sarah is what many people refer to as “New Age,” even though she was raised as a Jew. (I’m Catholic, by the way.) Her mom and sister are heavily into the New Age stuff too. In fact, they’ve appeared on the John Edward psychic TV show. Sarah consults the angels for guidance, asks life-changing questions of crystals, and believes that we are all continually moving toward a perfect state and that we can only do this through reincarnation and the search for truth. She believes that when we are sick, no matter what the disease, we are the ones who cause it and that the dead people in her life, such as her dad and felonious ex-boyfriend, contact her in life and in sleep. (By the way, I know it sounds crazy, but Sarah is a public school math teacher, and is very well liked by my family and everyone she meets.)

We were both matched perfectly, except for one thing -- I am not necessarily a cynical person, but my spirituality is much more grounded in the concrete, and not quite so flamboyant or demonstrative as hers. We have a similar morality, and I have encouraged her beliefs and supported her and even have done a few meditations and bought her crystals, but apparently she thought that I was not “spiritual enough,” meaning that I don’t believe in the stuff as much as she does. She says that she still loves me deeply and misses me and to break up with me was the hardest decision she has ever had to make.

Doc, I’m heartbroken. I want to be with Sarah, and I don’t understand how she could give up an otherwise beautiful relationship. I have consulted my friends and they don’t help much. They all agree that she is a great girl but “crazy,” “delusional,” “lost” or “quirky” for believing in the New Age crap.

Should I just move on and forget about her? Should I try and ride it out? I truly accept Sarah as she is and would not change her one bit. Why would she listen to the cosmos and not her heart?

Will - who feels lost in the stars

Hi Will,

I got news for you, pal. You were out of this thing a long time before Sarah broke the news. Women don’t drop you when their Interest Level hits 49%. They hang around for a little while to torture you some more. This girl decided you were out long before you heard all her spiritual hocus-pocus.

By the way, Will, if this young sister of Shirley MacLaine is so open and good and into the angels, why didn’t she tell you that her Interest Level was heading south? If her whole gig is being up on this elevated, spiritual, and open plane, why didn’t she actually come out and say, “You know what you’re doing? You’re making me Mama. You’re spending way too much time with me. You’re not a Challenge. We need a break.” Where was all her honesty then? Why couldn’t she cut you a break? Before you go and commit hari-kari over Sarah, that’s something to think about.

When Sarah revealed to you the secrets of the spirits, you should have gotten right down on your knees, made the sign of the cross, looked to the heavens and said, “Thank you, Lord, for pointing out the fact that I’m with a loony tune -- before we decided to spend the rest of our lives together in holy matrimony and had kids! THANK YOU, LORD!”

Because you should be ecstatic that you found out earlier rather than later, dude. And that’s what I’m trying to teach you guys about dating: if you use the proper screening techniques, there won’t be any surprises. Too many guys get surprised AFTER they’re married. If you don’t believe me, just interview your buddies at work!

Will, women just don’t drop guys. There had to be at least some turn-off signals prior to when Sarah dropped her big, holy bomb. But like most men, with their brainwashed minds and their super-huge egos, you refused to pick up on them. “Well, she’s just in one of her moods,” you guys say. Meanwhile her Interest Level is going 88…86…77…46...etc.

When Sarah was blabbing to you about all her wacky beliefs, you should have realized how heavily she was into the stuff. It’s okay if she talks about Uranus transiting Aquarius five minutes a week, but this girl is totally gone over this malarkey. But she made the decision to get rid of you not because she was floating around in the celestial ether, but because you’d turned her off in another area. It’s like when Jane Fonda saw the light and dumped Ted Turner. He’s an atheist and she finds Christ -- that’s the reason she gave for getting rid of him. The real reason is that he lowered her Interest Level.

So Sarah has contact with her dad and ex? Gee, Will, what’s it like to sleep with two other guys? Isn’t it a little crowded in that bed? Know what you should have done when she laid that garbage on you? You should have lied to her and gotten out of there. As my cousin Fast Eddie Love would say, “I’m witch chu, pal!” (And Sarah’s a public school math teacher? There’s another good reason why all schools should be private!)  

You two were perfectly matched, huh? Isn’t it interesting that when a woman’s Interest Level is 100% she decides to walk? The Reality Factor says she walks when it’s 39%. This is the hardest decision she’s ever had to make? She lied like a rug -- it’s a real easy decision when her Interest Level is in the 40s. On top of it all you say that you’re heartbroken? Well, I’m heartbroken that you believed anything she said!

You’re right when you say that your friends are clueless. (Especially when you try to explain “The System” to them – they’ll think you’re a real nutcase, just like you know and I know that Sarah’s a real nutcase.) If she’s all these things -- delusional, quirky, cracked – how can she be so great? Maybe she’s got a hot bod, but this girl’s more of a psycho than Madonna! (She talks to the angels, too.) Your problem is that you should have seen it all coming a lot sooner. Buying her crystals? Come on, guy! I’d join the Communist Party first.  

I got another piece of news for you, Will. Sarah was listening to her heart. Her Interest Level dropped below 50% -- that’s why she left! It wasn’t because of the cosmos and the New Age movement. And that’s what you guys don’t get. “Oh, it’s not me, it’s some outside factor,” you rationalize. Uh-uh. It’s you.

Remember, guys: only the man – not some silly philosophy -- can lower Interest Level.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2004 DocLove DotCom, Inc.


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