Doc Love Dating Advice

                 Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
                        Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

I’ve been a student of “The System” for a couple of years now and the
results are great!  Not only do I get a better all-around reaction from
females, but also my status among my peers and coworkers has risen as a result of living by your principles.

But Doc, here’s one problem I don’t know how to lick. How can I get other guys to follow your path?  In particular, there’s one “nice guy” in my life who has always gotten the short end of the stick in his primary relationship.  It kills me to see him take a pounding from his wife, but I don’t know how to get him to stand up for himself.  The real sensitive issue here is that the guy in question happens to be my dad!

I grew up in a house where my mom pretty much wore (and still wears) the pants. My dad is the nicest guy in the world, works hard, and was always there to provide for all of us, but when Mom says jump, he asks “How high?”  She gets her way with him all the time – and with everything from sending the poor shlump on tons of ridiculous errands to convincing him to buy old houses and fix them up for her (jobs that take years). Meanwhile she spends most of her life sitting on the couch watching TV and complaining.  

Now I don’t want to bash my mother, but it’s obvious that she’s in control of their relationship and I’d just like to see my Dad respect himself more. Personally, I don’t let anybody inside or outside of my family push me around. I’m a successful artist (I play guitar for a happening rock band) so I’ve got no problem getting tons of girls (thanks to you, Doc!), BUT NOTHING’S RUBBING OFF ON THE OTHER GUYS IN MY FAMILY!!! Something tells me it wouldn’t be prudent to just toss “The System” at my dad, so I don’t know what to do.

Anyway, I just figured I’d throw this your way to hear your thoughts on it. I can’t remember that you’ve ever addressed this specific dilemma before. Thanks in advance.

Kobe - who’s ecstatic the apple fell so far from the tree

Hi Kobe,

Yes, pal; isn’t it amazing how teaching you to acquire confidence with women does apply to other aspects of your life? I’ve had many, many guys call me over the years and testify that using my dating techniques has carried over into their businesses and resulted in their becoming more successful businessmen. And do you know why? Because my principles are universal truths.

But now here’s the sad part, dude. You can’t force other guys to follow my path. As Brother Love says, “No amount of arm-twisting will make a man see the light!” He has to come to you, and he has to beg for help. So I don’t want you knocking on doors like the church folks and missionaries. I appreciate your appeal for help, but the truth is this: a guy has to be in a lot of pain before he sets his ego aside, I’m sorry to say.

Think about it. You’re going to all of a sudden get your dad to stand up to his wife after she’s used him as a doormat for 35 years? Come on, guy! He has to want to change. And your pops doesn’t want to change. He’s comfortable being a dog, and your mom likes being his master.

Now if the balance of power were 50-50 between the two of them, her Interest Level would be higher and you wouldn’t be witnessing the tragedy you are. And this is what women don’t understand. As my cousin “Fast Eddie” Love says, “After she beats and tortures and then grinds you into the ground, for some reason she doesn’t respect you and you’re not as sexy anymore.” GEE, I WONDER WHY?

Here’s what you do: take your mother aside one of these days and ask, “Mom, why did you have to send Dad back out for those saltines at two in the morning in the middle of a blizzard? We didn’t need them. We could have waited for the next time you went to the market. Do you think it’s loving to treat your husband, who’s been such a good father to me all these years, like a jackass?” You’d never see something like that happen on Oprah!

Kobe, your mom is in control because your father is a classic weakling – Wimpus Americanus -- and he never stood up to her when they dated, and that’s the problem here. (Incidentally, I just can’t believe that all your mom does is sit around watching TV and complaining! I’m shocked! Not in America! Not in the typical happy home!)

Let me tell you something. I could mail my books to 100 guys, and 50 of them wouldn’t even bother to open it, let alone read it. Even if they got the Dating Dictionary for free, they just wouldn’t come to grips with it. They’ll get dumped over and over by girls, they’ll be dominated by their women, they’ll go through second, third and fourth divorces, but even then they won’t want to change. They’re contented the way they are. Like I said, a guy has to really want to change. You wanted to change, and that’s what makes your story so great, man. That’s what keeps you on top of your game.

I know you feel badly for your father, but forget about saving the world, buddy. It’s enough to save yourself. Instead, when a guy’s dying for life-saving information, step in and help him out. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut, and just keep observing, reading, and studying like you’ve been doing.

Remember, guys: unless he wants to change, you can’t help him.  

To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

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