Doc Love Dating Advice
DOES HUGH GRANT HAVE TROUBLE PICKING UP THE WAITRESS?
Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
It’s been two weeks since I discovered askmen.com and purchased your book. I’ve already read it from cover to cover three times, and I’m so thankful for every last drop of ink in it. I feel like the sun is starting to shine after 28 years of a dark, cold night where I was repeatedly shaken down by women in the Battle of the Sexes. If I’d found you when I was 20, I would have saved myself at least $30,000 that I threw away on women who weren’t worth a red cent.
Here’s my question to you. Of all the women in my life right now, my Interest Level is highest in the hair stylist I got to know yesterday during my haircut. Her name is Devon and she’s quite attractive and very friendly. After talking with her for just 45 minutes, I knew I wanted to get to know her more – a lot more.
What is the best course of action here? Should I ask for her home phone number immediately to gauge her Interest Level, or continue to get to know her first at future haircut appointments? (The danger here of course is that she might suddenly move to another salon or something, and then I’d lose contact with her altogether.)
I’ve been faced with similar circumstances in the past with waitresses and bartenders, and have always found the transition between the client-server relationship to the man-woman relationship to be a rocky one because there’s always the possibility that she’s being friendly only because it’s her job – and for a bigger tip. Then, too, you don’t want to put her into a bad position by pressuring her at her place of business in the event she has no real interest in you.
Thanks again, Doc, for any tips. You’re amazing.
Prince - who is waking up at last to the truth
You’re darned right about one thing – it is a Battle of the Sexes out there. What nobody ever talks about is the fact that there’s a power struggle inherent in romantic relationships. That point is never going to be addressed by the great female love doctors. Their advice will always be the same:
“Oh, just wear your heart on your sleeve!”
“Don’t forget to bring her lots of gifts!”
“Call her up every five minutes and tell her how great she is!”
“You’ve got to let her know how much you love her!”
Obviously we know that’s not the way to go. It doesn’t work, and it never will. What clinically sane women really want is not a pushover – Wimpus Americanus – but mystery, charm and Challenge. As General Love says, “You have to be able to hold your own in that war out there or you’re coming home in a body bag!” And by the way, although it’s too late to get your 30 grand back, discovering my principles saved your sanity!
The rule when meeting women is that you always ask for the home phone number straight off the bat. But there are certain times when you don’t. The client-server situation happens to be one of them. And assuming you like the haircut Devon gives, you should just keep visiting her and talking to her, and the idea is to make her laugh. After getting closer and closer through small talk and banter, you’re going to tell her “Know what my hobby is?” And when she asks what, you’ll say, “I’m trying to figure out what women like. For instance, tell me about the things that you wish you could change in your boyfriend.”
Now this is a set-up question. It’s a side shot, because in this type of scenario you never go directly in for the kill. She’ll answer something like, “You know, I’ve been going with John for three years now and he never lets me have any breathing space!”
Gradually you become buddy-buddy and she’s telling you about her private life, but she hasn’t gotten rid of John. Until John is gone, why would you ask for the home phone number?
(Incidentally, guys, when a stylist moves to another salon, she usually takes her clients with her or leaves a number where she can be reached. It’s not like you can’t get hold of her, so don’t worry.)
The point is that you want to get into her head romantically as soon as you can. Hopefully her boyfriend is in the 40 to 49 percentile of Interest Level -- in the sink in other words, circling into the drain. And there’s your opening.
But Prince, sorry to disappoint you but it’s not just a possibility, it’s 98% probable that Devon – or any other server for that matter -- is only being nice to you, the client, because it’s her job to do so. When I told my cousin Fast Eddie Love that the honey at the barbershop said I had great hair, he laughed. “They tell everybody that -- even Vin Diesel!”
So yes, you don’t want to pressure her directly. You want to subtly undermine her boyfriend, without her even knowing that you’re doing it. You’re trying to plant seeds in this babe’s head so she starts thinking, “Yeah, John is a big turkey! And this Prince guy is really interesting.”
Remember, guys: you always want to close on the spot unless you know you’re going to see her on a continuous basis.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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