Doc Love Dating Advice
DOES DONALD TRUMP NEED A PRENUP?
Women Don’t Lie - Men Don’t Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I am writing to say THANKS for your hard work and your “System.” It is intriguing material that is DEAD ON. I can now evaluate my friends’ relationships and see EXACTLY what’s wrong or whether the woman even likes them at all. It’s amazing.
Doc, I have a great girlfriend, Lisa. Thanks to you I realized just how special someone like her is. I almost blew it because I thought there were women like her all over the place. I know much better now. She is a Giver, loves me very much, is very sweet, normal, kind, and will be a wonderful mother some day. She’s all the things a guy could and should ask for in a woman.
We are going to be married in the next year or so and I wanted to ask you what you thought of prenuptial agreements. The only reason I would want one is to protect a possible large sum of money that I have the potential to make. I have spent the last seven years of my life chasing a dream and working harder than most guys will ever work in their lives and it is finally paying off. To have someone take that away from me just because they were married to me and signed some papers doesn’t seem right. Of course if I have children with her, which I’m sure we will some day, I think it’s my duty to pay child support and take care of her (especially if she was a stay-at-home mom) for a REASONABLE amount.
It seems that in this country today wives are getting HUGE settlements for basically no reason. Or they will get child support of 20k a month. Things like this don’t make sense. No person NEEDS that sort of money to live on.
I don’t expect to ever need a prenup, but of course nobody ever does. What do you think I should do?
I appreciate your help and guidance and all the time you have put into your philosophy. It’s really stupendous stuff. Thanks a lot!
Tayshaun - who wants to know if he should protect himself just in case
Your testament on Lisa is a very heavy thing. Congratulations. Because I pointed out to you in my Dating Dictionary what qualities a woman should have, you came to the realization of how special she is. You studied the information in my book, you internalized it, you saw certain wonderful characteristics in Lisa, and all of a sudden you asked yourself “How does Doc Love know my girlfriend?”
But I sure do, pal. Recognizing a great woman when you find her is a major point we rarely talk about. Without utilizing my rules as a guide, many guys don’t realize how great their girlfriends are, and on the other side of the coin, many guys put up with too much crap. But we never look at the other side of the coin -- because Oprah wouldn’t allow it.
Now I’ll be the first to tell you that someone swiping your money isn’t right. But remember, as Sal “The Fish” Love says, “When you get married, it’s not just you and her. It’s you and her and the government.” And the government, on account of its skittish political correctness, favors the woman in the vast majority of divorce cases. You should be concerned, Tayshaun, because the government is most likely going to be on her side when it comes time to dissolve your union. You have to worry that if all of a sudden her Interest Level goes south of 50%, you’re out – or worse, she’ll stay with you and bleed you to death.
It’s funny how when the woman’s Interest Level is 95% the word “reasonable” equals $0 alimony per month. But if her Interest Level goes down the tubes and she becomes “unreasonable,” she’s going to hit you up like one of Johnny Carson’s exes. You can just hear her now: “You think 20 grand a month is excessive? Honey, you haven’t bought many Pampers lately! Get yourself down to the pharmacy!” (Meanwhile, she’s dropping $400 a month getting her nails done!)
Let me tell you a little story. The other day I’m watching TV and I catch Donald Trump doing an interview. Standing next to him is his fiancé, a stunningly beautiful ex-model who’s slated to be wife number three, and the guy with the mic asks, “Mister Trump, what’s your biggest fear in life?” The Donald should have said something like “Losing my casinos in Atlantic City.” But instead he comes out with “I wonder if this girl I’m about to marry really likes me or not.”
It reminded me of John Stamos, just prior to splitting up from his gorgeous wife, telling the cameras how she’s a bona fide movie star and he’s just selling telephone minutes in TV land. As you students of mine know, TALKING ABOUT YOUR INSECURITIES LOWERS INTEREST LEVEL. Trump needs a pre-nup. He doesn’t even know if this girl “likes” him or not and he’s nervous enough to talk about it -- IN PUBLIC! If she did love him 100% and he knew it, that sentence would never have crossed his lips in front of the cameras and mics. (And don’t forget, here’s a guy who’s got a top-10 TV show, owns huge buildings with $10 million condos, casinos and all the rest of it, and he can’t hold onto a woman – in fact, he’s about to go down for the count for a third time.) Yeah, Trump needs a prenup all right – because he doesn’t have a clue.
But let’s get back to you – Joe Average. What about Joe Average? My philosophy is this. You go out with a woman and for the first two months you’re looking strictly at her Interest Level. You have to get it into the 90s and keep it there. For the next 22 months, you’re going to see her two or three times a week and you’re going to keep an eye on her Attitude, her scars, and all the negative baggage she brings into the relationship. When you’re wearing Doc Love’s glasses instead of your own, you’ll be able to spot all the bad stuff – and a lot sooner. But you’ll also see her good qualities. And if she’s a keeper, guess what? Your B is now going to be a B+. Because when they have a good Attitude, guys, they get prettier. (Not uglier, like Trump’s exes grow in his eyes when it all goes sour.) And that’s the point.
Now, buddy, you say you’re going to earn all this dough. And you’ve been with Lisa for two years, and she’s straight, she’s got Integrity, she’s a good person. Given that scenario, you’re insulting the girl with a prenup. You’re telling her that you don’t have enough trust in her to go into this without a written agreement, and that she doesn’t love you enough, so she has to sign this thing. If I were you, I’d pass on it.
On the other hand, if your upcoming marriage makes you jittery, there might be something going on that you have to look at -- closely. Either you’re insecure about it for reasons of your own, or she’s giving you a vibe that you can’t quite read, but you’re getting a funny feeling. Think about it.
Remember, guys: if you go by my rules, you know she’ll stay forever, and because she’ll stay forever, you won’t need that silly prenup.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”
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